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The sexual preferences of the fairer sex stretch far and wide, from the socially acceptable vanilla activities portrayed in Hollywood love stories to the dark and hidden desires only comfortably discussed in anonymous internet chat rooms. This endless variety means that anyone who claims to know exactly what every woman wants in bed is probably trying to sell you something, so I would never try. Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less, please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do.